Sitting the Bench

Scripture: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25 (NKJV)



As a parent there is nothing more miserable than seeing your children hurt, upset or discouraged. My son loves basketball. From the time the boy could walk, literally, he has had a basketball in his hand and a smile on his face. He has participated in other sports, but nothing tickles his fancy like a ball and a hoop. As a 3-year-old he was a gifted basketball player, but as he grew the phenomenon kind of subsided and he really just developed a love for the game.


Now at age 14 he plays for the freshman team, but has realized that he is not a naturally gifted athlete. He has to work really hard to gain favor with the coach and all those neat little nuances of the game that he loves do not come as natural to him as some of the other players. The poetry some athletes make with ease, he has to really study to write. Fortunately for him he likes his teammates and the coach and has had a good time playing freshman ball this year.


Tonight however was the last home game of the season and with friends and relatives watching the game he sat the bench. And sat the bench. And sat the bench. He did not get to play even one minute. I knew he would be disappointed and so was I, but he came straight in and went to bed without one word except good night. I was so sorrowful as I know it made him angry and frustrated. I talked to God about it and asked Him to teach Wyatt something important as I have said many times there are important things you can learn on the bench that you can't
learn in the game.

Then all of a sudden it clicked for me. You can't acquire the fruit of God's spirit playing basketball. You can only get it sitting on the bench!

• Love: Learning to love people (the coach) when you are not treated fairly.
• Joy: Learning to experience joy when you have a sad or angry emotion over your circumstances.
• Peace: Learning to find peace within when you have inner turmoil.
• Longsuffering (patience): Learning to wait on the things you really want and persevering until you see those things happen or even if you do not see those things happen.
• Kindness: Learning to show encouragement and support even when you are discouraged
  and disappointed.
• Goodness: Learning to be respectful to people even when they do not deserve it.
• Faithfulness: Learning to be dependable and supportive even if people are not faithful and trustworthy.
• Gentleness: Learning to not let your anger change the way you treat people.
• Self-control: Learning how to be a good sport even when you are angry, upset, and disappointed and really want to hit, scream, stomp, cry, and act like a spoiled little brat. (no matter how entitled you think you might be)
  

We live in a world that is not fair. This world is full of people who are not faithful and do not treat people nicely. We can't always have our way. People will always disappoint us. Winning and things going perfectly is not always going to happen. In fact more often than not our plans are spoiled by circumstances beyond our control. Somehow in the midst of that we have to display the character of Christ! God help us!

I can clearly see now that as much as I love my children and want to see them happy and successful, God knows better than me what they need. I want to see Wyatt rewarded for
working hard and get to play basketball and win and love it all at the same time, but more than that (much more than that) I want to see him develop the character of Christ. So really he needs
to learn how to sit the bench. It is on the bench where the fruit of God's spirit grows in us. What bench are you sitting on right now? Thank God that He has put you there!

Leslie Stephens
McMinnville, TN

Prayer: Almighty God, you always have our best interest in mind. Teach us how to sit on the bench of difficulty and adversity bearing all things with the fruit of your Spirit. We want to be more like Jesus, Coach us! Amen.

Prayer Tip: If you have not thanked God for whatever you are going through, do that right now. We need to be content and trust that God is at work in all things to bring about our faith and his glory. Praise him when you feel like fussing and crying!

Love: Want some? Give Some!

I have been asking myself lately how I can love people more. I tell people all the time that they should read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman because it has changed the way I love people. But I will say that when I examine my love I find that I am still very challeneged to love others the way that will make them truly feel loved. I find myself wanting to withhold love when things do not go my way. I have days where I really don't feel like loving anyone. And then there is the part of me that loves people the way that makes me feel loved. I find myself realizing that I loved them by doing something for them and not telling them they did a good job, or buying them a gift. Love is HARD!



This time of year as good humans we give. We give our time to ring a bell in front of Kroger. We give our money to charities like Angel Tree. We give our talents to decorate and make meals. All of these are noble causes, yet we get together with family and only tolerate one another. We have this desire to do good, yet we do not give our very best to those we claim to love the most. O help us, God!



So how do we refrom ourselves into Abassadors of Christ's love? One verse at a time. However reading and thinking is not enough, we must have a plan. We must go beyond our human capacities to love and cross over into the unlovable zone. You are getting ready to encounter someone in your family in the next 6 weeks whom you do not love well. I dare to venture that you do not even like them.



So the challenge: Phase 1) Set out in the weeks leading up to your "visit" to pray for yourself and that person every day. Ask God to give you mercy and compassion for them. Ask God to teach you how love them the way He does and how to communicate the love of Christ through you to them. Ask God to soften their hearts and help them respond to His love poured out through you.



Phase 2) Plan to do something extra for them when you are together. Suggestions: Ask them to go for a walk (spend some time), go shopping, eat lunch. Cook their favorite dish. Embrace them more than just at the greeting and goodbye. Make an effort to sit next to them. Ask them about their life and really listen (no lip service stuff). Get them a very personal gift you have to really think about giving (not expensive, but thoughtful). Tell them you love them at least 3 times during your visit. DO NOT IGNORE THEM, give them more attention than you ever have before (with discression).



Phase 3) Follow up on them within a month after you are together. Send them a card. Call and just leave a voice mail. Go beyond your normal love capacity with them even after the holiday.



Christ asks us to love above all things. It is easy to love those who are good to you and are easy to love. Even those who are not in Christ love those who are good to them. We can choose to hang out with peope who we like, but God chooses our family for us. He intends for them to teach us how to truly love and forgive. The character of christ can be forged uiin us through our family, if we will allow. God asks us to love those who are difficult to love, not just tolerate them on holidays. You can love, but only through the power of God. Other wise I think the love we give is just like what Beth Moore discribes in her Believing God Study on page 214.



"The One who adopted us into His royal family has called us to live according to our legacy. We are to literally live love. Fuzzy thought, isn't it? But check the verse again {Eph 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.} The very nature of love is sacrifical. In fact, if we're not presently feeling the squeeze and sacrifice of loving, we're probably exercising a preferential, highly selective, self-centered human substitute.



Not only have we been called to live a sacrifical love. At times we may also expend untold self-sacrificing efforts for years and even the rest of our lives without seeing and any apparent fruit. God has called us to love even when - "

we don't want to;
we don't feel like it;
we get nothing obvious in return;
they don't deserve it;
they're not worth it;
the don't even know it;
it makes no difference.
So who is it? Who will love with the love of Christ this Holiday? God, after all, loved you enough to give you Christ.



Leslie Stephens

McMinnville, TN


Prayer: Loving God, I can't love __________________ they way I should. Help me to stop loving them in my flesh and help me to love them they way you have loved me. Soften their hearts adn help them to recieve my love. I need the power of your Holy Spirit flowing through me, so that I can love with the love of Christ. In His name, Amen.


Prayer Tip: Always ask for the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to flow through you.

Quote Taken from Beth Moore's Believing God Experience a Fresh Explosion of Faith Bible Study workbook Page 214